The C(sh)ity

Naivety. A new fragrance from Calvin Klein. Worn by Dumb Model #1 regularly.

The Lost Boys (posted by Ryan Buynak & Ruben Roman)

How about Lost this week, eh, folks? The Lost Boys think this week's eppy, entitled "316", was the best episode of the season thus far. It was like a ride at DisneyWorld's Magic Kingdom. We had some help this week from Ryan's friend Chris, who is not as stupid as people think, and from a man called B-Luv. Here are some of our crazy thoughts.

Ben took off to kill Penny before going to the airport. He had a run in with Desmond and that's why Ben was so beaten up. That might also lead Desmond back to the Island.

Who arrested Sayid, and why are they taking him to Guam? Is that chick cop in cahoots with Ben, like the lawyer and the butcher? And the cop and the Indian and the sailor. Ben Linus was in the Village People.

All of them ended up on the plane!!! No plane crash this time? Were they just yanked from the plane in one of those flashes, maybe while they were over the Island? Or do you think that there was a crash?

Lapidus is back! That's crazzzyyyy. We love Lapidus. And we love shouting his name while walking down Lexington: "LAPIDUS!"

He looked good, all clean-shaven. However, we miss his mustache.

Speaking of Lapidus, how did he end up at the pilot of that plane?

We think Charlie told Hurley to go back, hence the guitar.

What the hell happened to Aaron? And what the hell is wrong with Kate, always slutting it up when she's sad?

Ms. Hawking and Widmore, former lovers, now enemies? Or are they partners and using Ben? Or is it Ben and Ms. Hawking versus Widmore?

Did you folks see the look on Ben's face when Hawking, in front of Jack and Sun, basically called him a liar? He gave her the crazy eyes.

Jack is starting to have faith. He took the fact that he found his father's shoes as a sign. He is trying to believe. This entire eppy was about believing, hence the title "316".

This week's episode was top-notch, indeed. How about that Bentham's suicide note, eh? Do you think we will see Locke come back to life? Ruben thinks he will come back to life on the Island, which, judging from Jin's DHARMA van, is in the '70s. There were two amazing scenes in this eppy: the one with Ben and Jack in the church, where Ben is telling Jack about Thomas the Apostle…and the scene where Jack is putting shoes on Bentham's feet, three cheers for that humdinger!

How about the trailer for next week's episode, eh? Holy cow! Did anyone catch the shot of Bentham about to hang himself…with Ben kneeling in the room with him? Holy cow!

Lake Jessup.

HerOeD (posted by nick)

“Building 26”
Psycho killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better than the average Heroes episode. Although likely undetected by the casual non-loser community, I found “Building 26” to be constructed very differently than any previous Heroes episode, ever. I would classify this as a “Heroes episode for dummies”, and ironically it turned out to be pretty damn entertaining. There were no brain pretzels or causal hints used for figuring out future events. All necessary information was laid out for the viewers in straightforwardness, and if the viewer was still oblivious, the writers further reinforced the necessary info through basic dialog between the characters. The episode consisted of three important story arcs and one small scenario.
I’ll start with the small scenario. I call it small in reference to it’s importance, because from what I can presently tell it wasn’t all that necessary (even though it took up most of the screen time). The scenario I’m speaking of is “Hiro and Ando Go to White Castle”, err destroy a wedding in India. The entire story was for the viewer to believe Hiro will now stop being a winey, annoying character (he has replaced Mohinder in most hated for me at least). Hiro even explains for the viewer, out loud, that he now understands he can be a hero without powers, and he will work with Ando as his sidekick (roles reversed).
This obviously is due to not wanting to bring back the time travel element, which confused so many viewers and was often used as a crutch in the past.
The first important arc was the Bennet family’s thousandth revelation that Mr. Bennet lies to them. This of course was all a vehicle used by the writers to place Mr. Bennet in the arms of his kidnappers (Peter, Mohinder, and Parkman), which will possibly make for the best coming episode. This scenario also further cemented The Hunter’s doubt of Mr. Bennet, feeling Bennet’s loyalty is not strong and his objective is obviously blinded by his Claire-Bear. Claire now has a boy with Michael Phelps’ ability living in her closet, her mother and brother are suddenly less necessary characters due to Mr. Bennet’s separation, and we still are left to wonder who this “Rebel” is, (Daphne?). The viewer is also reminded that this is different, it’s not “The Company”, it’s not the same as the first season where a company was rounding up dangerous people with abilities, now the government is rounding up everyone, whether they are dangerous or not, and this was spelled out in the forefront through dialog between Claire and her mother.
The second large story arc was what was going on in Building 26. This was important for the viewer to understand so they believe in how powerful this operation can become in future episodes. Without the scenario of Tracy showing Nathan’s new boss-lady that people with abilities are dangerous, then future James Bond-type gadgets or even concentration camps, may not seem plausible. Now we learn the government will fund anything Nathan requests, the viewer can easily suspend their disbeliefs and understand that they could have laser guns and light sabers for all we know. There was also no suspicion left as to how Tracy got loose, it was simply revealed as The Hunter’s doing, the character who has became what Mr. Bennet was in the first season, ya know, before he got all mushy due to bonding with so many of these characters.
Sylar’s arc is important because we learn that his father will likely be revealed if not at the end of the next episode, then certainly in the one after that (his creepy sidekick mentioned it was a two day drive). The viewer is also given more information on how Sylar thinks. The guy doesn’t even consider himself a serial killer, showing he really has no remorse or even a know of, as to what he’s doing, but once understood he frustratingly belts out “OK, technically I’m a serial killer” (pretty bad ass). The kid that is hanging around him is there to create dialog for Sylar, otherwise he’d just be by himself in a car, and considering how awesome of a character he is, he needs to be interacting with someone. Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” and Talking Head’s “Psycho Killer” playing on Sylar’s car stereo made for some very, very awesome moments.
What else can I say besides next week is probably going to be amazing or a complete let down. We are going into this knowing the possibilities. Parkman drilling Mr. Bennet’s mind for everything he’s got.
I’m hoping I don’t get my expectations too high, only to be let down.
Overall 8 outta 10.

It's News: but not for mensa members 2/17

A special wax figure honoring Britney Spears' comeback was unveiled Monday at Madame Tussauds in London.
I'm confused. In order to comeback, don't you have to go away?

Michael Phelps won't face marijuana charges after a South Carolina sheriff said Monday that there wasn't enough physical evidence to charge the 14-time gold medalist. Phelps said in a statement issued after the decision that he looks forward to diving back into the pool after the ordeal. "For me, it's all about recognizing that I used bad judgment and it's a mistake I won't make again." the statement said.
Imagine how many of your friends would be serving life sentences if pictures of them with a bong in their mouth could be used as evidence?

A 200-pound pet chimpanzee was shot dead in Connecticut after it went berserk and mauled its owner yesterday.
In other news, something news worthy actually happened in Connecticut.

Reality Bites (posted by jill brady)

Real Housewives of Orange County/NY

The Orange County ladies have their finale tonight - let's hope they dump Lynn next season. Will we see Jeff pass away this week or are they saving that for next season? A newly single Gretchen might be interesting to watch too - that would drive Vicki nuts! The NY group is back tonight with a new addition - Jill is really the only one with any zip to her - the rest were so bland last year. http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/bio/kelly-killoren-bensimon
The Bachelor

The 3 overnight dates this season were in New Zealand which looked amazing - obviously ABC is not feeling the recession. Jason's enthusiasm for Melissa is so obvious - all the girls run to him and he runs to her. I think they are editting it to look like he cares more about not meeting her parents than he really does. Feel so bad for Molly's dad - they keep showing the clip of him in the beer mug hat! The fact that this week's decision was between Jillian or Molly was obvious - I think he likes them both but not like Melissa. Molly will be the long shot to walk away with a ring. But regardless - they all got an amazing trip to NZ, right?! http://tvwatch.people.com/2009/02/17/bachelor-jason-blogs-about-the-toughest-cut-yet/
Sober House

Why would Amber go to that party? Totally an insane way to test her 30 day sobriety! The guy she went to see blew her off until she was wasted and then charmed her with a cheesy line. And they just skimmed over the fact that she blacked out for like 6 hours! Isn't the house mom supposed to ground her now or something?
Millionaire Matchmaker

Patti claims to have 90% success rate - do they just show the failures on this show? Last season, I can't remember any couples staying together for more than 2-3 dates. This week - they barely made it through the cocktail party. It would have been fun to see both guys pick the same girl - and then have the girl not be interested in either. Wonder what Katie did with the weird picture of the little boy that David gave her. The "big twist" this season is that she is going to have a female millionaire - not a very dramatic twist. Maybe I'm just not a fan because she dissed red heads last season saying "red heads aren't the freshest produce in the aisle." I beg to differ!
Survivor: Tocantins

Started out harsh at the get go - with Sandy and Sierra thinking they were voted off before the game even started. Nice twist to send them back to camp - at least Sierra made progress building a shelter to get some brownie points, Sandy wasted the time and didn't even find the idol. Love that Carolina was voted off and they saw Sandy added value in the challenge - usually the first couple of votes aren't so strategic.

Is anyone watching the Real World Brooklyn this season? I'm behind about 4 episodes - let me know if it is worth catching up on!

The LANALOGUE 2/13

A new LANALOGUE went out this week - which included Douche Bag of The Week, Top Chef Casting info and an Ashley Dupre sighting. To know about All Things Awesome every Friday - email me @ lanalogue@gmail.com.

Chris Brown Sucks

Chris Brown Sucks because:
1) He beat up his girlfriend.
2) The rest of us couldn't see Rihanna perform at the Grammy's because he beat up his girlfriend.
3) The rest of us couldn't see him perform at the Grammy's because he beat up his girlfriend.
4) He was on Sesame Street and then beat up his girlfriend.
5) He was supposed to be the next Justin Timberlake, but he beat up his girlfriend.

The question is: Is he done? Take the Chris Brown poll and find out (although this poll doesn't predict the future, it was a cool line for me to type).

10 Things I Hated About The Last Episode of The C(sh)ity

1) Olivia calling Champagne - Champy

2) Olivia having a giant closet in her entry-way/kitchen

3) Erin's fake old boyfriend, who is fake trying to get back together with her, so they can have some fake drama

4) Erin's old boyfriend bartending at Brother Jimmy's (wait, I love that).

5) Whitney and Erin's "other" annoying friend who adds nothing

6) Jay's band's music

7) Jay claiming to notice that Whitney wasn't there before starting to perform in front of a bar filled with people

8) Olivia named her dog "Mr. Butler."

9) Olivia and Whitney's so called fight in the office, which really consisted of a couple of snaps by Olivia and swivel chair by Whitney

10) Olivia

An Anonymous LANALOGGER told me the other day that she is friends with Olivia.  Please tell me she is not like this in real life or I may have to take you off The LANALOGUE for being friends with her.

Harlem Heights

Check out a preview of Harlem Heights, a new show on BET, today only!

LANALOGGER Derrin Woodhouse writes

"The Harlem Heights trailer is currently a featured clip on the home page of MSN TV."

http://tv.msn.com/

Take the Harlem Heights poll and let us know what you think!

Game Bros. Live! - TONIGHT

Thomas Middleditch from Second City and Kumail Nanjiani from the Colbert Report present: Game Bros. Live!
A Comedy Central Showcase with special guest Jason Sudeikis from Saturday Night Live.
Please join them, as they pitch Comedy Central live, a new TV show about a very important topic; video games.
Tonight , 8pm at Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery St in NYC

Christian Bale - Hate Him?

Or secretly, kind of like him?
An Anonymous LANALOGGER wrote to me yesterday

"Do you think I have a problem when I can relate and I side with Christian Bale?"

Hmmm. What do you think? Take the Christian Bale poll above so we can find out.

Harlem Heights

LANALOGGER Derrin Woodhouse from BET, wants you to check out their new show, Harlem Heights. Check out this January 12th article from the Daily News. If they ever need a wisecracking 34 year old Italian chick, I'm available. I'll just have to rearrange my LANALOGUE Live! schedule. Shouldn't be tough.

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2009/01/12/2009-01-12_tomorrows_leaders_star_in_harlem_heights.html

Confessions of A Teen Idol

The winner of Confessions of a Teen Idol is:
Christopher Atkins.
Should I continue watching?
I know the ending because Christopher Atkins is featured in this week's issue of PEOPLE Magazine (pic above - www.people.com)- so he won. Even though there are no actual winners on the show, there are secret winners and he won. Not saying the other guys are losers - because if not being famous is being a loser then:
Hi. My name is Lana LoRusso and I'm a loser.

The Shity

It looks like the PR team for The City is pulling out all the stops. You know things are bad when your publicist leaks "a story" to the NY Post about an on air fist fight between Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo. The two least likely people in the cast to say anything worse to each other than "Like stop." At least make the fight between that super skinny model who was offended, when an over medicated Kelly Cutrone, asked her 37 times if she was going to die from being skinny and Kelly Cutrone. The reason why this show is so bad, is because it's so transparently unrealistic.

1) The characters are terrible. I am in physical pain whenever Olivia comes on screen. Literal pain. It hurts to my head to hear her voice (I get a cramp in my leg, as well). If you really want to be in agony, check out www.oliviapalermo.blogspot.com. My a$$ hurts looking at it.
2)Who (and I've asked this before) has a million dollar apartment at 23 years old, "just starting out" in Manhattan?
3) Finally, who in this "economic climate" can afford to go to places like Barney's for lunch EVERY day and eat out for EVERY meal?

On second thought, the more I think about that fight, the more I need it to happen. As a matter of fact, maybe I'll crash the set and beat the sh&t out of both of them (and the writers too).

REALITY BITES (posted by jill brady)

Sober House
It is so sad to watch Steven Adler - he is just fighting his heroin addiction and losing. Very hard to watch - like that A&E show Intervention. Reality TV is a very small world - Mary"s boyfriend/manager David was also one of the guys vying for Jo DeLaRosa on "Date My Ex" and one of Randy Spelling's roommates on "Sons of Hollywood".

Real Housewives of Orange County
I still can't get over how Gretchen thought Tamra's son was tempting. He is always leering in the corner - so swarmy and skeevy. With her peepaw boyfriend in the hospital (and he has passed since the show ended), I wonder what becomes of Gretchen - who will support her lifestyle? Will she have to sell her huge rock? "Gretchen on the Rocks" could be the next spin off - how she has to live off the money from her ring - lol. Lynn is my least favorite - she is so so vain and should open her eyes to see that her daughters are superficial just like her. I feel a fight between Jeana and Vicki brewing - that would be fab cat fight because they both cut to the quick.

The Bachelor
The girls didn't like it but I have to respect Jason for not giving out the last rose when he knew he wasn't into any of the last 3 girls. You can definitely see who he likes - I cringed for the girls who asked for a kiss. He was so not into that.

The Real World Brooklyn
New cast is totally not interesting to me. How could they have the most boring cast ever in NYC? I think I've actually outgrown this show - scary considering all the crappy shows I watch.