Tuesday, February 16, 2010

It's News But Not For Mensa Members (2/16)

Noticeably absent at Fashion Week is Lindsay Lohan, once a front-row “It” girl. Several designers “don’t think she’s worth all the press she’d get their show,” an industry insider said. The absence may have also been personal, as her ex-girlfriend, deejay Samantha Ronson, and Sam’s twin sister, designer Charlotte, practically run fashion week.
(Also, that "cigarette skin, alcohol drenched, Donna Versace look alike" look  is so 2009.)

One of Tiger Woods’s alleged former mistresses, porn star Joslyn James, is a liar and not to be trusted, says James’s stepmom. James, who told “Inside Edition” that she was twice-pregnant with Tiger Woods’s child, is “a bad person who only wants to be famous,” said stepmom Deborah Siwick.
(I don't mean to stereotype, but porn stars in general, seem like the kind of folk that would do ANYTHING for fame and money - but that's just me.)

Brittany Murphy’s widower, Simon Monjack, and her mother, Sharon Murphy, have decided to refund donations immediately following reports that the Brittany Murphy Foundation is not yet legally a charity.
(Just say it.  Simon Monjack and Sharon Murphy are doing it.)

A mystery man pulled out what appeared to be a switchblade knife and walked into the Gramercy Park Hotel Sunday, where Axl Rose was set to perform in an intimate Valentine’s Day concert. He was tackled by ex-Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach. Guests including Mickey Rourke, Yigal Azrouel, Josh Lucas and Ryan Phillippe waited until well past 1:30 a.m. Sunday before Axl took the stage to perform his hits, including “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”
(I just remembered why I loved Hair Bands and dated a guy with a feather earring in HS.  Bad a$$.)

Madonna will return to the big screen – only this time, from behind the camera. The singer will direct “W.E.,” a flick about the romance between King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, with Oscar nominee Vera Farmiga rumored to snag the lead.
(MADONNA!  Stop trying to convince everyone you are from England.  Stop.)

Barbara Walters announced on “The View” yesterday that she will be ending her 29-year tradition of interviewing Oscar nominees for her annual TV special. “Been there, done that,” the TV host said. The last of the Oscar Specials will feature a retrospective of past interviews.
(Besides, it very hard to get the right camera angles and lighting for a walking corpse.)

Jenny McCarthy showed beau Jim Carrey just how much she cares with a high-flying valentine. “Just had sky writer come over our house and write J [heart] J in the sky,” she tweeted Sunday.
(Big deal.  I bet he would have preferred a BJ.)

Valentine's Day

Okay.  I am a loser.  I went on the Saturday before Valentine's Day to this mediocre rental of a movie.  However, It's not what you think!  I went with my gay husband instead of my real husband, which makes it less gay, but kinda gay because I went to a cheesy movie with a gay man.  Does that make sense?  And it wasn't really my gay husband, but my gay little brother, because I don't want to make out with him, but more like beat him up most of the time.  ANYWAY ... the movie was sort of terrible (the best acting was by Ashton Kutcher - if that says anything) ... the best part was when the whole audience of teens screamed over Taylor Swift (my date included) and one girl screamed "Oh my f-ing God" for Taylor Lautner.  Disturbing but interesting.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Lost Boys (by Ryan and Ruben)

Throughout our 1500ish-year friendship, the Lost Boys have only disagreed over two things: the musical brilliance of Pearl Jam and this week’s episode of Lost. Ryan loves Pearl Jam, Ruben hates them. Ryan hated this week’s episode of Lost, Ruben loved it. Ryan is a man of science. Ruben is a man of faith.

Last week’s episode was titled “What Kate Did,” but let’s face the symphony, people, who gives a flying f-k what Kate does. We want answers, right? And, honestly, Kate doesn’t do much in this episode, except run in all sorts of directions.

To the basics. So Sayid is back from the dead, but is he really Sayid? Did anyone see how Miles looked at him? Apparently, our two new characters don’t think so. Speaking of our two new characters, let’s talk about them. The white dude with the spectacles is called Lennon and the Asian dude is called Dogen. Lennon seems like an obvious reference to a Beatle. Dogen, however, upon further research from our cool bearded friend, Brian Lufkin, is the name of a prominent Japanese Buddhist philosopher. He wrote extensively on time and being and for much of his life he was the head of a monastery temple. The producers have hinted that Dogen holds an important key or secret to the entire series.

Lennon and Dogen tell Jack that Sayid is infected, a revival of the sickness mystery. The “sickness” is a real thing, but what is it? Apparently, Jack’s sister has it, too. But how did Dogen know of Jack and Claire’s relationship. Speaking of Claire, let’s talk about her. She goes to give up her baby, but the adoptive mother is unresponsive and then Claire goes into labor. Of course. Let’s top that off with a cameo by The Lost Boys’ favorite creepy Other, Ethan, playing a doctor. But he introduces himself not as we know him, Ethan Romm, but as Ethan Goodspeed. This confuses us in so many ways. Is he a real doctor in this new sideways timeline? Is he an Other? Why the name change? Also, has anyone noticed that they changed the signature SWOOSH sound effect that used to mark the transisition between timelines to more of a mechanic shutter sound? Weird.

This episode didn’t give us much: a whiny Sawyer, Jack with attention deficit disorder, Kate running. That mumbo jumbo makes Ryan frustrated because there are few precious hours of Lost left, and they are filling them with nonsense. Ruben holds on to the hope that they will somehow explain everything. One redeeming value in this week’s episode, something both Lost Boys agreed on, was having Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia back playing Aldo the Other. But then he is shot by Claire. In the words of Hurley, are Sayid and Claire some sort of Zombies?

What if Lost changed themes altogether and the show became a Zombie musical starring William Mapother? Amazing. Hopefully next week will be better and might include Zombie musical numbers. That would be easier to swallow than stupid Kate and crying Sawyer. Over and out.