Friday, January 30, 2009


Well, here it is. Our latest stroke of pure genius. A concept born from the minds of two gifted, intellectual, mastermind, whiz kids. "We can see it now: A mixed panel of Lanaloggers discussing pop culture news and entertainment with your host, Lana LoRusso!" In theory, pure video brilliance. In execution, a little disappointing. Like finding out Brett Michaels wasn't really looking for love the way you were led to believe he was the entire season. And then having it happen to you again the next season! WTF? So we had a couple issues. Sue us. In the interest of being prudent with our time and efforts we decided to bask in its retardation. We hope you enjoy it. If you like you can play 'try to spot Chris' in the intro. That's always fun. Let us know what you think. We'll try again next time.

Thank you again to Cliff Cristofaro for your editing, directing, amazing sense of humor and doing what you could with crap. For other great works by Cliff - check out

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Waverly Inn

Next week I am going to grab dinner with LANALOGGER Justin Wroe and some other friends. I asked Justin where he wanted to go and (although he claims he was joking) he exclaimed "The Waverly Inn!" Uggh, I sighed. The dreaded Waverly Inn. "Come on." he said "I'm curious".
Fine. I called to make a reservation. Whoops. Wait. No I didn't. The
douchy Waverly Inn does not have a phone number. You have to go down and make reservations in person, three days in advance. Insiders have Graydon Carter's personal number - relax - it's easy to call the main line at Conde Nast and ask for him - 212-286-2860. Nobodies have to go down in person, because Graydon likes to reserve the place so he can star-f&ck celebs any night of the week he wants.
The Waverly Inn represents everything I hate about wannabees in NYC. It goes against every fiber of my being. I lived in that neighborhood for 10 years. I went to the Waverly Inn a bunch of times, when it was a quaint cozy restaurant, that was part of the charm of the West Village. Then
Graydon Carter comes in and wrecks the place to allow douche bags like the one above, who wears sequined cocktail dresses to quaint West Village restaurants.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Brangelina Rumors

Rumor has it Brangelina and their crew are moving to Long Island.
Rumor has it we know LANALOGGERS who live on the same street that Brangelina are moving to.
Rumor has it that we know these LANALOGGERS really, really, really well.
Rumor has it that one of these LANALOGGERS already has a plan on how to entice Brad to be his friend.
Rumor has it that that said plan includes a motorcycle, a mountain bike and my twins.
We''ll keep you updated on the Rumors.

Monday, January 26, 2009


In 2005, my voice was in a commercial that got aired on the Super Bowl. Due to that commercial, I was able to achieve one of my life goals of becoming a SAG member. Since 2005, I have gotten about 0.0 acting jobs (hence the reason I write The LANALOGUE). I really don't get any benefits/perks except for the fact that I am able to vote for the SAG Awards. You would think I would take this one perk/duty seriously. It's one thing I get back from paying $100 dues each year. With that said, I'll let you into my voting thought process:

Best Actor

Winner/Sean Penn - I voted for Brad Pitt in Buttons because it was the only movie I had seen when I voted, because I voted a couple of weeks ago to cross off "Vote for the SAG Awards" on my To Do List, so I could feel like I was accomplishing something (and because I was procrastinating doing something I really needed to do), instead of waiting until this past Friday (which was the due date), when I had in fact, seen a lot more of the movies nominated.

Best Actress

Winner/Meryl Streep for Doubt - I voted for Kate Winslet because she is my favorite actress and because it was the only movie I had seen when I voted, because I voted a couple of weeks ago to cross off "Vote for the SAG Awards" on my To Do list, so I could feel like I was accomplishing something (and because I was procrastinating doing something I really needed to do), instead of waiting until this past Friday (which was the due date), when I had in fact, seen a lot more of the movies nominated.

Best Supporting Actor

Winner/Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight - I voted for Heath too - not because I though he was the best but because of the reasons above (although I did see Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, but Heath was better than him fo' sho).

Best Supporting Actress

Winner/Kate Winslet for the Reader - I voted for a woman who's name I couldn't pronounce in Buttons because of the reasons above.

Best Ensemble

Winner/Slumdog Millionaire - I voted for Buttons (even though they were not much of an ensemble - unless you consider all the different Brads in the movie), because of the reasons above.

Best Actor/Drama

Winner/Hugh Laurie for House - I don't watch any of these shows, but I voted for Michael C. Hall because Chris's Uncle Nick (and LANALOGGERS Cate Ellison Mills and Gus Ellison's Dad) - is the Book Agent for the guy that wrote the book that is now the TV series called Dexter (got it?) - gotta support yo (even though I've never seen the show, which means I really don't support yo, but I am going to start to).

Best Actress/Drama

Winner/Sally Field for Brothers & Sisters - I don't watch any of the shows nominated so I voted for Kyra Sedwick because she seems cooler than anyone else nominated and Sally Field is a whiny crackhead.

Best Actor/Comedy

Winner/Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock - I agonized for a couple of minutes and was truly torn between Alec Baldwin and Steve Carell. In the end I went with Steve because his portrayal of Michael never gets old and continues to get better each season.

Best Actress/Comedy

Winner/Tina Fey for 30 Rock - Duh.

Best Ensemble/Comedy

Winner/30 Rock - Duh.

Friday, January 23, 2009


The latest addition of The LANALOGUE just went out via email. If you want to know about about All Things Awesome, email me at Stay tuned next week, for great Gossip on Angelina, ShePratt and Baron Trump.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

How I Met Your Mother (posted by Chris)

This is a bad show. So why do I continue to run into people who think this show isn't just funny, but hilarious? I feel like I'm actually losing my mind. Like I'm living in a world where "Cops" just went off the air or Brett Michaels stopped saying "awesome."The first time I watched, it took five minutes for me to realize it was bad. But upon hearing again and again how funny it was I decided, maybe I just caught a bad five minutes? So I decided to give it an entire episode. The thing I found funny this time is that I couldn't even make it through an entire episode. Lana had to remind me that I promised to give it an entire episode when I went to leave the room. Three quarters of the way through I concluded that even if it magically turned into Seinfeld it would still be mediocre. Predictable jokes, dumb romantic insights, canned laughter, even bad wardrobe. And remind you, the fact that I even noticed wardrobe means I was so disinterested by the going's on that I actually noticed wardrobe. Look, I'm not going to start hating on anybody who likes this show, because I'd probably rather watch 'Friday Night Lights' than any other real, non-Giants football game. But as the certified expert on all things funny I have to say that this mystery can now be filed right next to the multi-year run 'Arliss' had on HBO.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


We went to see LANALOGGERS Ryan Farley, Nicole Arena and Cliff Cristofaro's band Sise last night at the Highline Ballroom in NYC. In the freezing cold weather, they were able to pack out the house, both upstairs and down and jam it cool (I had too good of a time last night because I am clearly being an idiot). The point is - I was upstairs and was dancing and I could see everyone below getting down too.
I have only one question for the band. I have been going to SiSe shows for years, since your first show and seen you play at least 40 times since and one thing always baffled me. Why doesn't Carol C (the lead singer, pictured right) wear shoes when she performs? Why? I need to know the answer. I lost a bet with LANALOGGER Michelle Zacks because I said she would no doubt be wearing shoes last night - it was literally 9 degrees out and that stage had to be pretty dirty - and lo and behold - she walks on stage with no shoes. What's the deal? Does she hate shoes? Does she sing better if her feet aren't confined? Isn't she worried about getting some weird foot disease? I mean the band always sounds great - so I guess who cares - but I need to know out of sheer, morbid curiosity (and because I lost a bet). Video to come soon, so you can see what I mean.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Top Chef

Ariane is voted off? Really? I have been jipped and besides Padma, herein lies the problem with this show. This show is about food. We can't taste the food - so we have to trust the judges when they announce the winners and losers. Almost every week, I have watched Ariane either win or be in the top 3. Now after one bad baby little Lamb butchering, they throw her off and they kept Leah and her buck teeth? I guess if they dumped Leah, we wouldn't be able to watch Hosea and Leah cheat on their significant others by dry humping on the couch, get into a fight and then see one of them go next week. Another reality show that is not really reality. Sigh. A small piece of me is taken each day.

Some Old/Some New Photos

Good Luck Mr. President. We got your pic before you were the Prez.

LANALOGGER Keren Amihud with Matt Damon.

One of our Lost Boys, Ryan with Matt Damon. We are so proud! Can't wait for next week!

Adrian Grenier spotted at an airport by LANALOGGER Rebecca Soskin.

Whitney in the City, before the City came out.

LANALOGGER Terry Houston and his tan sweater with the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philly.

The cast without Terry and his sweater (but with his wife Meredith).