It's News But Not For Mensa Members (2/16)

Noticeably absent at Fashion Week is Lindsay Lohan, once a front-row “It” girl. Several designers “don’t think she’s worth all the press she’d get their show,” an industry insider said. The absence may have also been personal, as her ex-girlfriend, deejay Samantha Ronson, and Sam’s twin sister, designer Charlotte, practically run fashion week.
(Also, that "cigarette skin, alcohol drenched, Donna Versace look alike" look  is so 2009.)

One of Tiger Woods’s alleged former mistresses, porn star Joslyn James, is a liar and not to be trusted, says James’s stepmom. James, who told “Inside Edition” that she was twice-pregnant with Tiger Woods’s child, is “a bad person who only wants to be famous,” said stepmom Deborah Siwick.
(I don't mean to stereotype, but porn stars in general, seem like the kind of folk that would do ANYTHING for fame and money - but that's just me.)

Brittany Murphy’s widower, Simon Monjack, and her mother, Sharon Murphy, have decided to refund donations immediately following reports that the Brittany Murphy Foundation is not yet legally a charity.
(Just say it.  Simon Monjack and Sharon Murphy are doing it.)

A mystery man pulled out what appeared to be a switchblade knife and walked into the Gramercy Park Hotel Sunday, where Axl Rose was set to perform in an intimate Valentine’s Day concert. He was tackled by ex-Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach. Guests including Mickey Rourke, Yigal Azrouel, Josh Lucas and Ryan Phillippe waited until well past 1:30 a.m. Sunday before Axl took the stage to perform his hits, including “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”
(I just remembered why I loved Hair Bands and dated a guy with a feather earring in HS.  Bad a$$.)

Madonna will return to the big screen – only this time, from behind the camera. The singer will direct “W.E.,” a flick about the romance between King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson, with Oscar nominee Vera Farmiga rumored to snag the lead.
(MADONNA!  Stop trying to convince everyone you are from England.  Stop.)

Barbara Walters announced on “The View” yesterday that she will be ending her 29-year tradition of interviewing Oscar nominees for her annual TV special. “Been there, done that,” the TV host said. The last of the Oscar Specials will feature a retrospective of past interviews.
(Besides, it very hard to get the right camera angles and lighting for a walking corpse.)

Jenny McCarthy showed beau Jim Carrey just how much she cares with a high-flying valentine. “Just had sky writer come over our house and write J [heart] J in the sky,” she tweeted Sunday.
(Big deal.  I bet he would have preferred a BJ.)