Friday, February 27, 2009
Special thanks to our lovely, creative and highly talented Editor, LANALOGGER Suzanne Friedman, who caught the essence of Uncle Donny right off the bat. We are truly grateful. For more info on Suzanne (or if you want to give her props) - email us at email@example.com. Also, check out The LANALOGUE Live! our last video, under our January posts.
d) None of the above? Email your picks to firstname.lastname@example.org
So last night was Christmas 1996 and I didn’t get the Nintendo 64. Was “Cold Wars” a good episode? Yea, I guess… I will say I was totally into it while watching. After my mental recall though… was it what it could have or should have been? No, definitely not. The facts that Nathan had been the person who initiated what made them all fugitives and that Mr. Bennet was heavily involved, were not revelations. Most viewers also already knew that The Hunter is very dedicated to his mission and has doubted Mr. Bennet’s loyalty. New information to Peter, Mohinder and Parkman consisted of who The Hunter is, the fact that he is superior to Mr. Bennet in rank, and that Bennet had some words with Mohinder in an effort to warn them. The push/shove/throw match between Parkman and Mohinder was awkward and left me not surprised that Bennet escaped in the midst of it, however, I was surprised that his escape was completely meaningless due to being recaptured by Peter only seconds later. If it were anyone else it wouldn’t have been a let down, but this was Mr. Bennet’s mind, “The Man’s” mind. Mr. Bennet has bagged and tagged their kind for twenty years and all we as viewers really learned from diving into his brain was that he got a Rolex from Mrs. Petrelli and that he prefers Crosswords puzzles over Sudoku. Oh, we also learned Daphne is still alive but umm yea; hate to say I told you so.
It is beginning to bother me that Nathan is pretty much just a puppet character that the writers use very differently as a device in each volume. First Nathan was in denial of his own power and was trying to make Peter think he was crazy for believing he had one, hoping to keep it a secret so his career wouldn’t be affected. Next Nathan decides he wants to tell the world in a press conference that he can fly. Suddenly, due to being shot by Future Peter, he changes his mind and wants to keep this all a secret but plans to create an army of those with abilities to use throughout the world. Now on “Fugitives” he is obsessed with smothering out every last ability and is even considering a mass genocide for those with abilities. I feel like saying “Dude, make up your mind”. The other terrifying thought I’m having is the return of “Villain’s” Evil Mohinder. The government now has Mr. Thousand-Times-Benedict-Arnold in their possession and I can see him working happily alongside Nathan in no time. In the end we got to see that Mr. Bennet is still awesome and can say the words “morally gray” just as cool as when he said it in season one. It will be interesting to watch now fully knowing he is secretly against Nathan and The Hunter.
Overall 6.5 outta 10
Questions/comments for Nick? Email us at lanalogue.com
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Lost Boys (with ryan buynak and esteban ruben roman) Please see below photo of Ryan with Matt Damon. Can you guess which one is Ryan?
Not only was Ben present when Locke died…Ben murdered Locke! OMG! We didn’t see that whopper of a plot changer coming!
I know we say this every week, but this week we mean it: This week’s episode of Lost, titled The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham, was the best episode of the season, maybe of the whole damn series. Okay, at least top five. The Constant was the best episode of the damn series. But this one is up there.
This episode was like a Tarantino-verison of Lost. And like, Pulp Fiction, the story seems to jump back and forth. It starts on the Island with a resurrected Locke, and then the episode jumps with Locke into the Tunisian desert (2007) and goes along for Jeremy Bentham’s wild ride, and ends back on the Island, in god-knows-what time(s) with the actor who plays every evil muslim dude in the movies showing Locke Ben’s unconscious body.
Widmore gives Locke a few lines about the Island’s inhabitants used to be his people, but when we saw him, at seventeen, he seemed like a grunt doing grunt work. No? Widmore also talks about the fantastic possibility of time, and how Locke is special, and how Ben is the bad one, not him. Widmore is the one who gives Locke the name of Jeremy Bentham. Then comes Abaddon, the Metatron for Widmore, to chaufuer Bentham around like George Carlin in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
Bentham visits Sayid in the Republica Dominicana, who is building houses, probably out of bones, who also says that he was done being manipulated by Ben. Bentham visits Walt in New York. Imagine being Walt, a teenager in New York, you come out of school and see John Locke across Lexington. Walt didn’t seem surprised to see him, actually, Locke mentions this fact. Walt then mentions a dream he had of Locke on the Island in a suit. Bentham visits Hurley in the asylum. It was so funny that Hurley thought Locke was dead. So much damn foreshadowing. Bentham visits Kate, and she gives him some BS about love, like she knows what that is. She is a floozy with eyes for Sawyer and Jack. When Kate was reciting the diatribe, Ruben spit at the television for some reason that he never mentioned aloud. Bentham visits his old girlfriend’s grave (did she really die from a brain aneurism?). Bentham visits Jack, inadvertently. He runs from whomever killed Abaddon, and gets into a serious car accident and ends up in Jack’s hospital. Then after Jack verbally abuses him, Bentham goes and purchases an extension cord with which to hang himself.
Either Ben is evil or he is not. He is either manipulating everyone for his own egotistic benefit or he is doing for the Island. Ben popped a few bullets into Abaddon, did Ben also kill Nadia, Sayid’s special lady friend? In every scene with Ben, he has this look in his eyes like he is a conniving vulture. When Locke tells him about Jin, he squints and you can see the lightbulb going on inside his head. And then after talking Locke down from the ledge, Ben seems alright at first, until Locke mentions Eloise Hawking, then Ben goes crazy and strangles Locke to death. He makes it look like a suicide.
It’s hard to make sense of it all. Ruben still thinks Ben is good at heart. Ryan now thinks like he thought in the beginning when Ben was Henry Gale, that Ben is evil, like Satan. But does that make Widdmore good? If in fact it was Ben that shot Abaddon to “save Locke,” then why did Ben kill Locke? Ryan cannot for the life of him wrap his head around any benevolent reason for Ben’s doings.
In a few huge sidenotes, leftover morsels needing to be discussed…
The plane is on ground, seemingly intact. As Cesar and Ilana comb the Hydra station, we are left to assume that they are in a different timeline(s) than that of Jin and Volkswagon Bus DHARMA. Also, what Island was Locke looking at when he was on the beach talking to Sayid captor, Ilana? Was John and company on the smaller Island adjacent to the main Island, Jacob’s Island? Since everyone seems to be alright, and the plane in one piece, did Frank LAPIDUS put her down nice and safe? Ilana said that the pilot and some lady ran off with the other outrigger, which, by the way, was already there when they got there.
We shall call them, the other folks whom we don’t quite know yet, the Newbies. What timeline(s) are resurrected Locke and the Newbies in?
That should be the name of a punk rock band: Resurrected Locke and the Newbies!
That’s all we got this week, folks. Between this week’s episode and last week’s, the Lost Boys are tuckered out. We may have miss some things, but who cares, right? All of us out there, in Lanalogue cyberspace land, know that this mere television is like a 100-meter dash multiplied by 108 days.
Take that, Quentin.
Questions/comments for The Lost Boys? Email us at lanalogue.com
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
No offense to Jay, but my kids call our cleaning lady ‘Aunt Ethel’
He only said that to get people to talk about….doh.
Herb Wilson couldn’t start telling guests anything before being interrupted by Star Jones.
It won’t be too far down the grapevine till this turns into “Sienna Miller f&cked a homeless midget on a toilet.”
Say what you will about this whole thing, but now there’s a woman among us named “Octomom.” So cool.
Candice was the Omarosa of the season - good blindside vote this week. I like Taj - seems smart and can go far - but was it a mistake telling people who her husband is (Eddie George)? I, like Stephen, had no idea who Eddie George is.
Seth has a cardiac arrest then runs out of the hospital and jumps a wall - really?? Is that even possible?
Real Housewives of NY
Just watching Jill and Bethanny and the NYers until the New Jersz ladies start in May! The NJ Housewives are going to be AWESOME!!!
On the Women Tell All show, editing certainly makes it look like Jason picks Melissa. All he says about Molly is that he likes her eyes - he says that over and over again and really nothing else. The visits with Jason's family look rough on the girls next week - I guess it is kind of like sorority hazing - we are going to torture you and then welcome you into the clan. All the speculation around who he picks is amplified by the "closed set" After the Rose show. Is this because he disses both Molly and Melissa and goes back to Deanna? Maybe Melissa's parents come on to meet Jason (which I thought of myself before reading the blog below)? Could there be an actual wedding? Maybe Ty is there and they don't want a big audience to scare him? Its seems like he does pick someone so I don't think that he rejects them both . . . I cannot believe I am so sucked it to all of this - and I cannot believe I have to wait a week to see what happens! http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20261033,00.html?xid=email-whattowatch-lastnight-%27The+Bachelor%27+recap%3A+Sex%2C+lies%2C+and+videotape What do you think of Jillian as the next Bachelorette????
Amazing Race and The Real World Brooklyn
Still have to catch up - is anyone watching????
Want to see your name in dim lights? Email comments to email@example.com
Monday, February 23, 2009
"So, you wanna check out this cool show with me?"
And they'll be like
and you'll be like
"Oh this UCB show called The Matt & Katina Show."
And they'll be like
"What's UCB and who are Matt & Katina?"
and you'll be like
"Upright Citizen's Brigade. Duh. It's like where SNL scouts all it's talent from and Matt & Katina are the next new thing."
and they'll be like
"Oh yeah. I knew that. When?"
And you'll be like
and they'll be like
"How do you know about cool stuff that happens on a Monday night?"
and you'll be like
"From the The LANALOGUE."
and they'll be like
and you'll be like
"Don't worry about it."
"My mom heard in the nail salon on Saturday that the night Rihanna got beat up Chris Brown had another girlfriend with him and the girlfriend was the phone who beat up Rihanna."
Is this person's mom right? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Below is my list of Hates and Sort of Likes for the 2009 Oscars.
Sort of Likes
1) Robert Pattinson looking like a hot vampire, leading me to believe that maybe he is one.
2) Tina Fey and Steve Martin ripping on Scientology to a room full of Scientologists.
3) Ben Stiller's portrayal of Joaquin Phoenix.
4) Jennifer Aniston looking slightly miserable due to the over powering presence that is Brangelina (I like Jennifer, but anything that entertained me during this snoozefest, I sort of liked).
5) Sean Penn not thanking his wife.
1) How very serious all the actors took themselves, like they just figured out the solution to the financial crisis and saved the world.
2) All the past Oscar winners saying something very long and boring about the nominees. What does Nicole Kidman have to do with Angelina Jolie and why would I give a sh&t what she has to say about her?
3) Heath Ledger winning the Oscar. Come on people, would he have won if he was alive?
4) No upsets. How great would it have been if Richard Jenkins won for Best Actor?
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
How about Lost this week, eh, folks? The Lost Boys think this week's eppy, entitled "316", was the best episode of the season thus far. It was like a ride at DisneyWorld's Magic Kingdom. We had some help this week from Ryan's friend Chris, who is not as stupid as people think, and from a man called B-Luv. Here are some of our crazy thoughts.
Ben took off to kill Penny before going to the airport. He had a run in with Desmond and that's why Ben was so beaten up. That might also lead Desmond back to the Island.
Who arrested Sayid, and why are they taking him to Guam? Is that chick cop in cahoots with Ben, like the lawyer and the butcher? And the cop and the Indian and the sailor. Ben Linus was in the Village People.
All of them ended up on the plane!!! No plane crash this time? Were they just yanked from the plane in one of those flashes, maybe while they were over the Island? Or do you think that there was a crash?
Lapidus is back! That's crazzzyyyy. We love Lapidus. And we love shouting his name while walking down Lexington: "LAPIDUS!"
He looked good, all clean-shaven. However, we miss his mustache.
Speaking of Lapidus, how did he end up at the pilot of that plane?
We think Charlie told Hurley to go back, hence the guitar.
What the hell happened to Aaron? And what the hell is wrong with Kate, always slutting it up when she's sad?
Ms. Hawking and Widmore, former lovers, now enemies? Or are they partners and using Ben? Or is it Ben and Ms. Hawking versus Widmore?
Did you folks see the look on Ben's face when Hawking, in front of Jack and Sun, basically called him a liar? He gave her the crazy eyes.
Jack is starting to have faith. He took the fact that he found his father's shoes as a sign. He is trying to believe. This entire eppy was about believing, hence the title "316".
This week's episode was top-notch, indeed. How about that Bentham's suicide note, eh? Do you think we will see Locke come back to life? Ruben thinks he will come back to life on the Island, which, judging from Jin's DHARMA van, is in the '70s. There were two amazing scenes in this eppy: the one with Ben and Jack in the church, where Ben is telling Jack about Thomas the Apostle…and the scene where Jack is putting shoes on Bentham's feet, three cheers for that humdinger!
How about the trailer for next week's episode, eh? Holy cow! Did anyone catch the shot of Bentham about to hang himself…with Ben kneeling in the room with him? Holy cow!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Psycho killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa better than the average Heroes episode. Although likely undetected by the casual non-loser community, I found “Building 26” to be constructed very differently than any previous Heroes episode, ever. I would classify this as a “Heroes episode for dummies”, and ironically it turned out to be pretty damn entertaining. There were no brain pretzels or causal hints used for figuring out future events. All necessary information was laid out for the viewers in straightforwardness, and if the viewer was still oblivious, the writers further reinforced the necessary info through basic dialog between the characters. The episode consisted of three important story arcs and one small scenario.
I’ll start with the small scenario. I call it small in reference to it’s importance, because from what I can presently tell it wasn’t all that necessary (even though it took up most of the screen time). The scenario I’m speaking of is “Hiro and Ando Go to White Castle”, err destroy a wedding in India. The entire story was for the viewer to believe Hiro will now stop being a winey, annoying character (he has replaced Mohinder in most hated for me at least). Hiro even explains for the viewer, out loud, that he now understands he can be a hero without powers, and he will work with Ando as his sidekick (roles reversed).
This obviously is due to not wanting to bring back the time travel element, which confused so many viewers and was often used as a crutch in the past.
The first important arc was the Bennet family’s thousandth revelation that Mr. Bennet lies to them. This of course was all a vehicle used by the writers to place Mr. Bennet in the arms of his kidnappers (Peter, Mohinder, and Parkman), which will possibly make for the best coming episode. This scenario also further cemented The Hunter’s doubt of Mr. Bennet, feeling Bennet’s loyalty is not strong and his objective is obviously blinded by his Claire-Bear. Claire now has a boy with Michael Phelps’ ability living in her closet, her mother and brother are suddenly less necessary characters due to Mr. Bennet’s separation, and we still are left to wonder who this “Rebel” is, (Daphne?). The viewer is also reminded that this is different, it’s not “The Company”, it’s not the same as the first season where a company was rounding up dangerous people with abilities, now the government is rounding up everyone, whether they are dangerous or not, and this was spelled out in the forefront through dialog between Claire and her mother.
The second large story arc was what was going on in Building 26. This was important for the viewer to understand so they believe in how powerful this operation can become in future episodes. Without the scenario of Tracy showing Nathan’s new boss-lady that people with abilities are dangerous, then future James Bond-type gadgets or even concentration camps, may not seem plausible. Now we learn the government will fund anything Nathan requests, the viewer can easily suspend their disbeliefs and understand that they could have laser guns and light sabers for all we know. There was also no suspicion left as to how Tracy got loose, it was simply revealed as The Hunter’s doing, the character who has became what Mr. Bennet was in the first season, ya know, before he got all mushy due to bonding with so many of these characters.
Sylar’s arc is important because we learn that his father will likely be revealed if not at the end of the next episode, then certainly in the one after that (his creepy sidekick mentioned it was a two day drive). The viewer is also given more information on how Sylar thinks. The guy doesn’t even consider himself a serial killer, showing he really has no remorse or even a know of, as to what he’s doing, but once understood he frustratingly belts out “OK, technically I’m a serial killer” (pretty bad ass). The kid that is hanging around him is there to create dialog for Sylar, otherwise he’d just be by himself in a car, and considering how awesome of a character he is, he needs to be interacting with someone. Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” and Talking Head’s “Psycho Killer” playing on Sylar’s car stereo made for some very, very awesome moments.
What else can I say besides next week is probably going to be amazing or a complete let down. We are going into this knowing the possibilities. Parkman drilling Mr. Bennet’s mind for everything he’s got.
I’m hoping I don’t get my expectations too high, only to be let down.
Overall 8 outta 10.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I'm confused. In order to comeback, don't you have to go away?
Michael Phelps won't face marijuana charges after a South Carolina sheriff said Monday that there wasn't enough physical evidence to charge the 14-time gold medalist. Phelps said in a statement issued after the decision that he looks forward to diving back into the pool after the ordeal. "For me, it's all about recognizing that I used bad judgment and it's a mistake I won't make again." the statement said.
Imagine how many of your friends would be serving life sentences if pictures of them with a bong in their mouth could be used as evidence?
A 200-pound pet chimpanzee was shot dead in Connecticut after it went berserk and mauled its owner yesterday.
In other news, something news worthy actually happened in Connecticut.
Is anyone watching the Real World Brooklyn this season? I'm behind about 4 episodes - let me know if it is worth catching up on!
Friday, February 13, 2009
1) He beat up his girlfriend.
2) The rest of us couldn't see Rihanna perform at the Grammy's because he beat up his girlfriend.
3) The rest of us couldn't see him perform at the Grammy's because he beat up his girlfriend.
4) He was on Sesame Street and then beat up his girlfriend.
5) He was supposed to be the next Justin Timberlake, but he beat up his girlfriend.
The question is: Is he done? Take the Chris Brown poll and find out (although this poll doesn't predict the future, it was a cool line for me to type).
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
LANALOGGER Derrin Woodhouse writes
"The Harlem Heights trailer is currently a featured clip on the home page of MSN TV."
Take the Harlem Heights poll and let us know what you think!
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Comedy Central Showcase with special guest Jason Sudeikis from Saturday Night Live.
Please join them, as they pitch Comedy Central live, a new TV show about a very important topic; video games.
Tonight , 8pm at Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery St in NYC
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Should I continue watching?
I know the ending because Christopher Atkins is featured in this week's issue of PEOPLE Magazine (pic above - www.people.com)- so he won. Even though there are no actual winners on the show, there are secret winners and he won. Not saying the other guys are losers - because if not being famous is being a loser then:
Hi. My name is Lana LoRusso and I'm a loser.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
It looks like the PR team for The City is pulling out all the stops. You know things are bad when your publicist leaks "a story" to the NY Post about an on air fist fight between Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo. The two least likely people in the cast to say anything worse to each other than "Like stop." At least make the fight between that super skinny model who was offended, when an over medicated Kelly Cutrone, asked her 37 times if she was going to die from being skinny and Kelly Cutrone. The reason why this show is so bad, is because it's so transparently unrealistic.
1) The characters are terrible. I am in physical pain whenever Olivia comes on screen. Literal pain. It hurts to my head to hear her voice (I get a cramp in my leg, as well). If you really want to be in agony, check out www.oliviapalermo.blogspot.com. My a$$ hurts looking at it.
2)Who (and I've asked this before) has a million dollar apartment at 23 years old, "just starting out" in Manhattan?
3) Finally, who in this "economic climate" can afford to go to places like Barney's for lunch EVERY day and eat out for EVERY meal?
On second thought, the more I think about that fight, the more I need it to happen. As a matter of fact, maybe I'll crash the set and beat the sh&t out of both of them (and the writers too).
Monday, February 2, 2009
It is so sad to watch Steven Adler - he is just fighting his heroin addiction and losing. Very hard to watch - like that A&E show Intervention. Reality TV is a very small world - Mary"s boyfriend/manager David was also one of the guys vying for Jo DeLaRosa on "Date My Ex" and one of Randy Spelling's roommates on "Sons of Hollywood".
Real Housewives of Orange County
I still can't get over how Gretchen thought Tamra's son was tempting. He is always leering in the corner - so swarmy and skeevy. With her peepaw boyfriend in the hospital (and he has passed since the show ended), I wonder what becomes of Gretchen - who will support her lifestyle? Will she have to sell her huge rock? "Gretchen on the Rocks" could be the next spin off - how she has to live off the money from her ring - lol. Lynn is my least favorite - she is so so vain and should open her eyes to see that her daughters are superficial just like her. I feel a fight between Jeana and Vicki brewing - that would be fab cat fight because they both cut to the quick.
The girls didn't like it but I have to respect Jason for not giving out the last rose when he knew he wasn't into any of the last 3 girls. You can definitely see who he likes - I cringed for the girls who asked for a kiss. He was so not into that.
The Real World Brooklyn
New cast is totally not interesting to me. How could they have the most boring cast ever in NYC? I think I've actually outgrown this show - scary considering all the crappy shows I watch.