It's News: but not for mensa members 9/4

Tom Hanks, the narrator and executive producer of “Beyond All Boundaries,” the 4-D cinematic experience at the National World War II Museum in New Orleans, was able to land an all star cast including Brad Pitt, Kevin Bacon, Patricia Clarkson, Kevin Connolly, James Cromwell, Viola Davis, Tobey Maguire, Gary Sinise and Elijah Wood.
(I’ll bet Kevin Connolly was a real hold out.)

Kenneth Slayton, the biological father of Jaycee Dugard, told the Daily Mirror of London that he would “love to get his hands on [Phillip] Garrido and kill him. Slayton and Terry Probyn split while she was pregnant with Jaycee. Slayton has never met his daughter.

(I’m not sure about the statute of limitations on this one, but I think 11-year dead-beat-dads forfeit their justifiable vengeance privileges.)

Jon Gosselin tells “Good Morning America” that after 10 years of marriage he is done with taking “a lot of abuse” from Kate. In other news, the father of eight was spotted guzzling vodka Red Bulls and pomegranate martinis at Stack Restaurant & Bar at The Mirage on Monday with his mother.

(That’s funny, because I’m tired of being abused by pictures of you in all those wack-ass, wannabe hip t-shirts you’ve suddenly decided to start wearing around.)

“American Idol” contestant Danny Gokey has signed a deal with 19 Recordings/RCA Nashville. He is expected to start recording after the Idols Live tour wraps on Sept.15.

(Mr. Gokey, has no one asked you to consider a stage name?)

“Project Runway” judge Tim Gunn is the subject of a brand-new Marvel comic book called the “Loaded Gunn.”

(I guess gay wasn’t enough. He’s going for super gay.)

Sasha Obama was photographed peering from behind a couch as her father finished some paperwork at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office. The photograph is reminiscent of a series of pictures taken in 1963 showing JFK Jr. playing under the same desk while his father worked. Holy transparent attempt to link yourself to an iconic young Democratic president.

(Levi Johnston revs up his feud with the Palin family in an interview in this month’s Vanity Fair, entitled “Me and Mrs. Palin.”And the lesson is: Knock up the right chick.)