Monday, August 24, 2009

Why Isn't Anyone Writing About My Life On The D List? (by KCo)

It's the season finale and Kathy is getting a star on the Walk of Fame. She scopes out her ideal location and the only spot that she really doesn't want is right between Barbara Walters and Ryan Seacrest:) This turns out to be a short lived honor as Bravo has only NOMINATED her but she ultimately didn't get approved. Oh well to bad she's told EVERYONE about it. So as a consellation prize they've given her a star on the Palm Springs Walk of Fame. Well even Maggie is up in arms about this one. It's a big conspiracy theory - Ryan is definitely behind her rejection.

Kathy decides to make lemonade out of lemons...she's going to Palm Springs. She calls Suzanne Somers as she needs a celebrity to present the star to her. Suzanne can't do it but decides to throw her a dinner party since she can't be organic dinner party so no diet soda...meanwhile Kathy is slurping a big diet coke while talking to Suzanne. Ok I totally agree with Suzanne - Diet Coke is evil unless you like drinking chemicals and want early onset osteoporosis by all means knock yourself out:) Ok back to the show...

Off to Palm Springs, Suzanne greets Kathy is some sort of contraption...a funicular -a motorized cart - because it's a long ways to her house? OMG, I love her house/compound and the organic spread is AMAZING!!!! Suzanne has always worked - it is true - from Three's Company to Thigh Master to bioidentical Suzanne got fired from Three's Company because she wanted as much $ as Jack Tripper - breaking the glass ceiling - blonde style.
Suzanne's vegetable garden is also ridiculously amazing. The debate about diet soda continues in the garden. Kathy pledges to NOT drink diet soda for 30 days or just try.
Kathy still needs a celebrity to present the award to they call Barry Manilow who also has prior committments:) So she takes matters into her own hands, she takes a celebrity bus tour so she can go door to door. Carol Channing is the first stop. First question - is she alive? Is she free tomorrow? So Team Griffin decides to knock on her door and trespass. No one is home so Kathy leaves a note.

Off to Suzanne's dinner party...Kathy wants diet soda to accompany her meal but no luck. She asks the staff to serve it to her with no ice in a wine glass - her own private stash. So after a very nice toast to Kathy...she spots the wine glass. Busted. Kathy can't fool Suzanne who apparently has bionic vision from all of the hormones. Tiffany outs her with a purse full of Diet Coke.

At the star dedication, Kathy finds some protesters who say she's going to burn in hell. But the protesters are drowned out by the thongs I mean throngs of gays. Maggie introduced Kathy and was crying - too cute! And the come the surprises...Carol Channning after all...AND Suzanne Somers AND Barry Manilow...Bravo you had me fooled.

And that concludes another season on the D List...stay tuned as I move on to Jeff Lewis and Rachel Zoe - I die!!!!!!!!!

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