It's News: but not for mensa members 2/17

A special wax figure honoring Britney Spears' comeback was unveiled Monday at Madame Tussauds in London.
I'm confused. In order to comeback, don't you have to go away?

Michael Phelps won't face marijuana charges after a South Carolina sheriff said Monday that there wasn't enough physical evidence to charge the 14-time gold medalist. Phelps said in a statement issued after the decision that he looks forward to diving back into the pool after the ordeal. "For me, it's all about recognizing that I used bad judgment and it's a mistake I won't make again." the statement said.
Imagine how many of your friends would be serving life sentences if pictures of them with a bong in their mouth could be used as evidence?

A 200-pound pet chimpanzee was shot dead in Connecticut after it went berserk and mauled its owner yesterday.
In other news, something news worthy actually happened in Connecticut.