Friday, May 8, 2009

The Lost Boys with Ryan and Ruben and Vernon/Justin

“Because you haven’t written it yet.”
-Jack Shepard

This week’s
eppy, entitled “Follow The Leader,” was like a murder mystery! The only logical step we have to take is that something happens and something else happens. That is all we could come up with this week…that is all we can gather from Lost in general. This episode was a power struggle…between Richard, and Ben, and Locke…and between Widdmore and Eloise and Richard…and Horace and Radzinski and Sawyer. There are those who want to change things and then there are those who want things to stay the way they are. And then there is John Locke. And then there is Richard Alpert.

This was a Richard Alpert-centric episode! We see Dick in twenty-six timelines within this one episode…let alone the last four seasons, the Lost Universe. He’s had his job for a very long time, but what is his job? Is he like Robert Duvall in The Godfather?

And thus, John Locke! Who is Locke? The darkness ate him up. Ben killed him. He is resurrected. The Spirit is not a quantity and it is opposed to all quantitative measurements and conceptions. What lies in the shadow of the statue? Has Locke solved this riddle by dying? What is Locke? Did he die and achieve some sort of Christ Consciousness? If the Island made Ben Linus who he is by saving him, did the Island make Locke who he is now by bring him back from the dead? Does he really want to kill Jacob? Who knew Jacob could be killed and why does Richard say Locke is gonna be trouble? Ruben thinks Locke is an alien, or the Smoke Monster, or Jesus. He and Justin keep referring to Locke as Jesus. That is how we came up with the Christ Consciousness stuff.

Did we mention we hate Radzinski? Well, we do. Sawyer needs to kill that dude…and Phil, for punching Juliet.

The theme of this blog is ellipses, and…confusion? Daniel’s dead and now Jack is going to detonate a hydrogen bomb? What?!? And! How are they going to wrap up all of our crazy questions? There is only two hours and one season left of Lost. And there are a million old questions and a couple hundred new questions…with random answers interspersed throughout the years…but will they ever tell us the answers to such minor but tingling inquiries, such as why was Libby in Hurley’s asylum?

And another thing! If there is no insignificant dialogue in the Lost Universe, then what did Jack mean when he came up in the temple tunnels from swimming under the lake? He said, “That was further than I thought it was.” Just when we thought the answers would come flowing or pouring in, we are thrown a varitable curve ball, with this mind-bender eppy. Locke is nutso! Richard is clueless! Farraday is definitely dead! And Jack is bomb-crazy. And Kate is bitching up! And Miles forgives his dad. Yay! Oh! And…Man-o-man, can Sawyer ever take a beating!!!

Our new wayward friend, Justin, thinks that in this season’s finale everyone dies! Everyone. Justin greased his hair like Edgar from O’ Brother Where Art Thou?. He says he is not Justin. “I am Vernon, remember?” We have to admit, that would be a great season ender.

We also have to admit that Justin/Vernon is as crazy as Ruben. I don’t know what these two will do with themselves once this show ends. Ryan isn’t completely sane either. He thinks Jack is the one to which this eppy’s title refers. Follow the leader. He still thinks Jack is Jacob. Ask him about his theory of how Jack is Jacob.

Moving on…

So…Sawyer and Juliet in real-world 70’s-era; Jack and Sayid setting off a bomb; Locke trying to kill the one deity…it all leads to…something. Something happens and then something else happens. That is all we can say for sure about this program.

We can’t believe Locke wants to “kill Jacob”! Who knew he could be killed? We didn’t.

We are scared…and confused. Like little girls about to go on their first date with the popular boy.

Like the thesis statement of this blog, one thing leading to another thing, we think Jack is directly at fault for…everything. The Lost Boys and our new friend Vernon/Justin think that in next week’s two-eppy ender, the audience will come to learn that Jack is directly responsible for everything: the Swan station, the Incident, The Button (every 108 minutes), Oceanic 815 crashing…Jack is responsible for all that misery. What an amazing television-twist that would be! Wow, the main hero is the main cause of the drama. The protagonist is the antagonist. Afterall, Lost is indeed all about sinning and redemption, and cause and effect, and something happening leading to something else happening.

P.S. We heard amongst the Lost grapevine that we are going to see Jacob next week. Will Ryan be right? Will Ruben come out of the closet? Will Vernon/Justin die?