Monday, March 9, 2009

Rock of Love Bus 3/8 - Oh Mother!

With Rock of Love Bus being as multi-layered as it is, it should come as no surprise that in last night's episode, we found out some shocking revelations. Four out of the 7 remaining contestants/actresses/prostitutes/strippers have kids. Ashleigh. Brittania. Taya. Beverly. As they revealed this shocking revelation, I start to freak out. Chris looks at me like I'm crazy and calmly asks
"You're actually surprised by this?"

Why yes Chris, I am and let me tell you why:

1) Some of the girls may have eating disorders. These ladies don't look like they have ever had a snap pea in their stomachs, let alone a human being.
2) They are not the brightest. Britannia is a mom and I'll bet she doesn't know how to spell mom.
3) They may have drinking problems. Beverly houses a bottle of vodka and then ruins all the fun by getting all "angry drunk", instead of all super slutty drunk, like the other girls. However, she does make the most valid point of the whole season, when she asks "Bret has been doing this for over 20 years, when is he going to get over it? I thought he was looking for something different." Oh Beverly.
4) They are a little slutty and not the best role models. In one night they:
- a) Milwaukee Triple Kissed Bret (Asheigh & Brittania)
- b) Straddled Bret half naked in front of everyone (Brittania)
- c) Left Bret on the beach to hook up with Farah (Ashleigh & Britannia)
- d) Dumped salsa into Mindy's suitcase (Ashleigh)
- e) Threw toiletries on and threatened to beat up Taya (Brittania & Ashleigh)
5) Ashleigh is good with kids. Although she "strips on the weekends", she says Monday-Friday, she is "a stay at home mom". This statement makes me want to rethink my current career path. There has got to be a market for twin skin and muffin tops.
BONUS: I think I was most disturbed by this episode not because I am a mom, but because at some point during the show, Chris asked
"What would you do if you found out that your mom did a show like this back in the day?"

Think about it (for further insight into my mom - check out my Stand-up on the right).

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