Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Are You The Loser Or Is He?

Last night I went to a private party for Rachel Greenwald's new book "Why He Didn't Call You Back". The event was held at the Tori Burch store in NYC. It was quite clever. The guest list/attendees consisted of: successful, single, good looking, NYC women, all of which who could afford Tori Burch clothes and me. You could get a 20% discount on everything in the store, while you listened to Rachel talk about Why He Didn't Call You Back. At the end of the night, a young woman walking out of the store yelled to Rachel "Bye Rachel! I just spent $1,000 on clothes, I don't need." I almost robbed her.
Anyway ... back to the book. Rachel is a NY Times Best Selling Author, who knows all about dating. Her success rate with set-ups is like 700 marriages - or something crazy like that. For this book, she interviewed 1,000 men. Can you believe that? 1,000 men - to ask them why they don't call women back (I would have stabbed my eyeballs out). She found that while there was the occasional jerk, they all pretty much had the same reasons for not calling you back. Here are few in my own words:
  1. The woman was coming from work and was in work mode. He would rather hire her than date her.
  2. She was used to being the boss at work and was very argumentative on the date and it stressed him out.
  3. She complained about how stressful her day was.
  4. She was a negative person in general.
  5. She slept with him on the first date like a total slut.
I made the last one up.
Anyway, there were a few more and I was like geez, these guys are picky, but it kind of made sense. Would I want I guy who acted like that? Probably not (although #2 could be fun from a role playing perspective).
Anyway, Rachel, was honest, positive and smart. She fielded questions like:
"Why doesn't he like me?"
"Where can I find a man?"
"How can I get him to give me a second chance?"
Questions, that I thought "How could she possibly know the answer as to why a random guy wouldn't like this random stranger?" - but she answered all these women and all of her answers made sense! It made me wish I brought all my single friends to the event.
I have been reading the book and I highly recommend it. I've been quoting it all day - which is kind of random. I also recommend, that if you are single, you take the cover off, so guys won't see that you are reading it.
Also check out www.whyhedidntcallyouback.