Dear Writers of Rock of Love Bus,
Why would you do this to us? You gave us 3 seasons of sluts, strippers and sex and in return we tuned in to this dumb show every week. Now, in the last season, this is how you decide to reward us for our loyalty? This is how you want to go out? Are your moms writing these episodes?
Ever since Bret dumped the Blond Ambition Tour and Britannya, this season sucks. The Whiny Lame Boring Tour is a big snore to watch. If Mindy's"funks" are torturous to Bret, why in God's name would you think we would want to see more of her? If I wanted to watch people be depressed and whine over men, I would be watching Grey's Anatomy. The only fun part about last night's episode was when we saw the clips of Ashleigh making fun of these girls.
Why wouldn't you hit us with some sort of "shocking twist"? For example:
SHOCKING TWIST!
After dinner Bret says to the Torturous Trio:
"Girls. This dinner sucks, this tour sucks and pretty much, you suck. I'm bringing back the hos."
Then in walks The Blond Ambition Tour and Britannya.
BAM!
Now THAT would have made this season, the BEST last season ever.
There is one episode left and sadly, I doubt this happens. In the coming attractions, Bret is holding what looks to be an engagement ring box, whereby, looking like a total dork. How can he propose to either of these girls (especially Taya who I don't think he's even tongue kissed yet)?
I am writing you this letter because I don't think it's too to late shoot an alternate ending and fire your moms.
Think about it.
Yours,
Lana "I'm Not A Ho, I Just Like This Sho'" LoRusso
The LANALOGUE
lanalogue@gmail.com
