Monday, April 13, 2009

Dear Selena (posted by Selena - duh!)

After a bit of a hiatus, my way too truthful sister is back with advice. What makes her the authority? We don't know, but it's pretty funny.

Dear Selena:

I live in LA and I have been on This is one of my recent emails that I got from a guy I have been emailing with. What do you make of it?
"i must tell you that i love your profile! with that said, i am being very direct and honest as to what i want to find. so my question for you is, would you have a baby now, meaning, actively pursue a family and skip all the games and bullshit and pursue a commitment based on chemistry and family? agree to no birth control and let it happen when it happens and be super excited? could u handle that?"


- Missmatch:

Dear MissMatch:

GAY!! Seriously, this guy is gay and while I love gay guys and advise making out with them - this guy also happens to be really CREEPY. Exhibit 1: Bypassing the “no birth control” comment at this point because I CAN”T even with some of these freaks on dating sites – ANY man who says “Super Excited” is a Super Queen. Exhibit 2: “Could “u” handle that?” = A Gay guy trying to hit on a women via internet speak... Exhibit 3: He’s obviously in a super rush b/c he needs a SUPER beard - is there a family reunion or a work retreat around the corner? Save yourself the hardship and come out the closet – you live in LA, not the deep south. AND FINALLY – SUPER WEIRD AND SUPER SCARY RANDOM OBSERVATION ABOUT INTERNET DATING: The problem with internet dating is this: Men in their 40’s and 50’s say they want to date women in their 20’s when they are really compatible with women in their 40’s; women in their 40’s are disgruntled about that fact that men their age say they want 20 year olds, and then only get interest from men in their 70’s who lie and say they’re in their 40’s; Women in their 20’s complain that everyone who contacts them is in their 40’s and creepy or in this case, GAY Conclusion: NEWFLASH TO MEN in their 40’s – WOMEN IN THEIR 20’s DON’T WANT TO DATE YOU and are often creeped out! You’re lucky that the hot women in their 40’s with careers would consider you. Oh, and if you’re gay – find a MAN to have super-awesome babies with and then get super excited about it, you SUPER FREAK. Disclaimer – I am not in my 40’s, not single, not on internet dating and not full of sh&t.



Can you handle the truth? Email Selena @